Fast Car
by frozenhands
Summary: Naomi and Emily go on an adventure to find themselves.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Fast Car  
**Rating: **T  
**Pairing: **Naomi/Emily

* * *

**Prologue**

"Naoms, pack a bag. We're going on an adventure."

Naomi blinks her eyes open and squints through her sleepiness, turning over to face the girl and yawning. "_What_ are you talking about, Emily?"

"We're just going on a road trip, okay? Don't pack light."

Emily is all serious and Naomi doesn't think to challenge her.

So, against her better judgment, she just raises her eyebrows and pulls her body up off the bed, tugging her suitcase from the closet and throwing in God knows how many pairs of shirts, pants, bra and panties. She throws in a hair brush, toothbrush, the necessities, while Emily's doing the same on the opposite side of the bed.

Naomi peaks over at Emily to gauge how much stuff to pack, and fuck it all, it's a lot. What the hell are they doing?

They shut the lights off one by one, write a note to Effy telling her they'll be back soon, they've gone on a trip, and meander down the ways to their car.

Naomi is driving and Emily is directing, her face buried in a map before she says "fuck it. Let's just use this old thing," referring to their Ebay purchased GPS unit. Shaped like an old Nokia phone, the robotic voice that comes from the device sounds like it's coming off of a walkie-talkie. But it works for their needs.

_Turn right on Lambeth Bridge._

Naomi looks over at the GPS and curses. "Holy fuck, Emily, Brighton?" It's an hour drive.

"We're going farther than that."

"Gonna remain mysterious throughout the entirety of this insane trip?"

"I'll let you know when I know where we're going," Emily says.

Twenty minutes pass and they're listening to Iggy Pop while traveling down the interstate. Naomi turns it down a notch.

"What is this about, Emily?"

Emily's snapping incredibly well done moving images with the window rolled down when Naomi finally says it.

Naomi feels Emily freeze up and then continue to snap pictures before she slowly pulls her hands into her lap and looks up at Naomi.

"This is about you and me, taking time together to experience _whatever _we want." She pauses, then continues. "We haven't had many moments like this. We haven't had much time together, and I wanted to, well, I wanted to go on an adventure."

"Uh huh," Naomi says, not sarcastically at all, just unsure what to say.

After staring at her lap for a few minutes, Emily looks up again. "I dropped out of college."

"You _what?"_

"I dropped out of college, dropped everything, dropped New York. I'm here now. To stay this time."

"No, Emily. You can't do that."

"I did, it's done, I'm staying here. I'm sure about this, Naomi."

"Emily, you have to call them. Tell them you were crazy when you decided this. This is a great opportunity. You're passionate about college, and about photography. You _can't."_

"I can do photography here. With my girlfriend, the love of my life. I don't need to be off in New York on stupid webcam sessions with you when I can be here finding some other opportunity that'll be just as good. This is what I want, Naoms. Naomi, I want to be with you. You..." Her eyes water. "You shouldn't be here by yourself."

"I'm not by myself. I have Effy."

"You know what I mean. You...you have cancer."

"Yeah, so? I have cancer. Are you trying to tell me that's the reason for this insanity now?"

"I love you," Emily places her hand over Naomi's. "That's the reason. I miss you too much, and I don't want it as bad anymore. It's too hard," she says tearfully, shaking her head. "I'm staying with you, and we're going to see the world - or well, the _UK_," they smile, "and have a blast. Okay?"

"Em."

"Say okay."

Naomi looks out the open window, the wind brushing against her face, as she drives into unknown territory. Then she looks into the eyes of her love and she's speechless before turning her head toward the road and laughing despite herself.

"Okay."


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: Fast Car  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairing**: Naomi/Emily  
**Notes**: Hints at CBD oil and alternative combined with modern treatments. I do not know much about cancer personally but have been doing a lot of research. If anything is wrong, feel free to correct me and I have no problem editing my material. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter I**

Emily and Naomi are goofing off and singing loudly and badly at the top of their lungs, laughing so hard that their chests burn until Emily slumps back against the passenger seat. "Okay, okay. I'm getting hungry," she says.

"You just ate, Christ's sake."

"Fast food doesn't fill you up. Let's find a diner or something, get some real food. Do you want me to drive?"

"No, I'm good. I'll let you know."

Emily puts a hand on Naomi's shoulder and leans over to place a kiss there.

"Put your seat belt on, Emily. You're a crazy person, I swear," she mumbles, a humorous glint in her eyes.

Emily chuckles and snaps her seat belt back into place. "There should be a-" Emily goes pale and remembers. Suddenly, the mood shifts. "Did you bring your medicine?"

"It's in my bag, love. Do you want to grab it for me?" Naomi returns carefully, trying to ignore the speed in which Emily unbuckles her seat and leans over to fumble through Naomi's suitcase. She retrieves the little bottle and unscrews the cap, reaching over to drop a dose into Naomi's mouth.

"Does it help?" she asks quietly.

"It seems to. You know my hair's grown back quite a lot. Helps with the nausea, the pain." Naomi's naturally light brown hair reaches just below her shoulders.

Emily has switched from playful lover to attentive nurturer all in a minute.

The speed at which she is able to switch back relieves both of them, not wanting to focus on Naomi's disease.

But it's there. In the back of their minds, it pokes and prods with quite a sting.

"There should be a cafe up ahead; take this exit here, and a right onto Upper St. James Street. They've got good reviews."

After the GPS unit died and Emily's smart phone sufficiently charged, she switched to Google Maps on her phone, a much more reliable guide, anyway.

They now have some idea of where they are, at least.

They're seated at a light wooden table in front of a window with a picturesque view of the sun rising among a pink sky. Emily squints while snapping a picture, takes a second picture with the timer on of her and Naomi, and a third of the mostly empty diner. Returning the camera to its case, the waitress smiles as she approaches. "You two are up early," she greets.

"We're on a road trip," Emily says, and reaches across the table to take Naomi's hands. "We're together, by the way. This is my girlfriend Naomi." If she could shout it from the rooftops, she would. She was proud to have Naomi as her partner. "I'm Emily."

"It's nice to meet you, both of you. Are we ready to order?"

"Yes. Just some coffee with scrambled eggs for me," Naomi says, unable to stop smiling after Emily's introduction as the waitress jots it down in her notepad.

"Coffee for me," Emily murmurs. "I'll have chocolate chip waffles and scrambled eggs with extra cheese."

"Will you be wanting cheese on yours as well?" the waitress asks Naomi.

"No, that's fine. Thanks."

"Alright, I'll have that out for you soon. Have a lovely morning," she wishes them politely before walking off.

"She's nice."

"Yeah," Naomi says. "Em."

"Hm?" Emily scoots her chair over so she can sit next to Naomi with her camera and looks up at her.

"I love you. I'm glad we did this."

"I love you, too." She kisses the girl lightly on the lips and shares a moment with her, the two just smiling at each other. She bites her bottom lip, eager to show Naomi. "I have so many pictures to show you. I still need to edit quite a bit."

"Lemme see." Naomi scoots closer as Emily cycles through her pictures, stopping here and there to give the story behind certain pictures.

Their noses are met with the smell of fresh coffee, scrambled eggs, and cheese.

Emily takes her first bite of scrambled egg and leans her head back, childlike. "This is amazing. Can't tell me this was a bad idea, Naoms," she teases.

Naomi grabs Emily and kisses her, both girls laughing. The cafe is empty and they appreciate the indie music playing in the background, with the lack of background chatter apart from that of the waiters.

"So, tell me, Ems; after breakfast, where to?"

"_Welll_, I was thinking of renting some bikes and cycling around Brighton's trails, if you're up for it," Emily offers. "Or we can check into a hotel and rest for a bit, secure a place for tonight, and go see what we can get up to around town."

"So we're staying in Brighton for the night?"

Emily shrugs. "Or Hove. There's so much to see here."

"Yeah. Let's get a room and take the car downtown Brighton. We're sure to find something to do."

Emily nods enthusiastically, finishing up her eggs and eating the remaining half of her waffle.

Naomi struggles to eat all of her scrambled eggs, but does so to be strong for Emily; she doesn't want Emily to question her or to worry. She has some water with her coffee and clears her throat, and they ask for the bill when they're both done.

The sun aglow sends dazzling rays straight down their heads, causing sweat to form at their brows. Naomi goes to wipe at it and takes a forceful, humid breath. Emily puts a hand on her back and turns on the AC in the car to full power.

Emily's scrolling down her phone at potential hotels and Naomi steals it, making a face at one she finds on the screen and clicking on it. "Now _that's_ quite a hotel there."

Emily leans over. "It's on the harbor." She grins. A Victorian building overlooking the harbor, it's the perfect spot to take photos, Emily thinks. And they have an indoor pool; they both love to swim. "I vote yes."

"That's two yes's, and I don't see anyone else here."

"It's settled then," Emily says, leaning up to press her lips against Naomi's. "Let me drive, okay? You rest."

"It's hot as balls out," Naomi complains as Emily climbs over her to buckle up into the driver's seat.

"Yeah it is. Good thing they've got a pool. A really large one at that." She bites the side of her lip, smiling. "Where do you want to go after?"

"Anywhere but London," Naomi says back.

Emily might be letting loose a little bit her vagabond side, unsure where to settle, at the same time desperate to make this perfect for Naomi. She really wants her to have a good time. She deserves it. But now as Naomi's settled into the trip, she feels the same urge, the same pressure to just get the _fuck_ away from that apartment in London and have a good time with her love.

"Let's just go," she says. "Head out into the unknown territory. Fuck it all. We can go anywhere. Do anything. Well, mostly."

"Leave London?" Emily says.

"Yeah, fuck it, if we're gonna do this might as well do it right."

"Okay," she murmurs.

"I'm starting to think your crazy is contagious, Em." She flashes her a look.

Emily smirks. "Brighton first. Then the world's ours."


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Fast Car**  
Rating: **T**  
Pairing: **Naomi/Emily

* * *

**Chapter II**

After taking the elevator up six flights, they unlock their door with the key card and the red and pink colors of the room remind Emily of the sunrise that morning. The bed is white with the underside of the comforter folded back, red. Emily drops onto the bed with her arms splayed out and sighs.

"This is pricier than I thought," Naomi says. Though it's a modest hotel, it's still more on the expensive side, but Emily wanted somewhere nice to stay for their first night at a hotel.

"It's okay. We won't be staying at hotels like this every night. We should enjoy it. Naoms! Look at the view," Emily says, leaning up to look out the window. Naomi stands in front of the window and appreciates the sight of the ocean. There's two steps up to the window, then two neon colored chairs perched around a small white table, perfect for admiring the view. There's no balcony, but this is just as good.

Emily takes a shot with her camera, just for fun; this is the time to get away from work.

"Mind if I get a nap, Emily? I'm a little tired," Naomi says, turning to face her girlfriend.

"Yeah, I'll probably get one myself."

Naomi settles into the bed next to Emily and opens her arms, Emily closing the distance between the two of them. Naomi kisses Emily on the lips, running a hand through her reddish brown hair. In unison the two remove their pants, Emily her skirt, and nestle back underneath the covers in their underwear and T-shirts. Emily yawns and sets her head on Naomi's shoulder, arm around her waist and hugging the girl's body close to her own.

When Naomi wakes up, Emily is sitting up against the headboard with a somber expression on her face. Sleepily, Naomi is slow to turn over to face Emily, uncertain if she wants to ask what's wrong. With her head resting against her hands, she closes her eyes quickly when Emily looks down and she pretends to be sleeping. Thinking she'll sleep, she starts letting her breaths deepen and her mind go blank, watching the thoughts be carried away like leaves on a pond the way her therapist taught her. This is to no avail for sleep, as the thoughts end up slamming against her mind anyway.

She opens her eyes, reaching for Emily's hand. Emily intertwines their fingers together. "Sleep well?" Emily asks.

"Yes, you?"

"All rested up," Emily says back.

Naomi sits up. "Okay, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Emily swears. "I just really want us to have fun on this trip."

"As do I. I know we haven't explored much of it yet, but it's been fun."

"No, I mean, no I don't mind that we haven't... I'm already having a really fun time. I didn't mean it like that."

"I'm having fun too. What's really on your mind?"

"Nothing... I think you need to take your medicine and then we should go out," Emily says and shrugs, skirting around the question and reaching into Naomi's bag to find the bottle.

"Look, I've got it, Emily, it's okay. Take it easy." Naomi comes up behind her with a hand on her arm, stopping her. Emily turns to face her with tears falling down her cheeks.

"Em," Naomi says sadly.

Emily scrubs a hand down her face as tears fall from her eyes. "I just want to do whatever I can for you."

"You are. But I can get my oil, you don't need to do those little things for me. I'm healthy, Em, I'm not like before," she promises. "I get tired sometimes, the _heat_ is intolerable, but I'm doing better. You've done enough. Please. Stop treating me like a child."

Emily goes silent and Naomi sees it on her face that she's said the wrong thing.

'"If that's what you really think," Emily murmurs.

"Don't take it like that," Naomi says gently, pulling Emily close to her and trying to embrace her. "Please, Emily."

"I know," Emily sighs against her neck, wrapping her arms around Naomi. "I know." She squeezes her eyes closed and Naomi holds her while she sobs.

When Emily's done, they both sit down in front of the window and look at the harbor. "Let's grab some lunch and go out there. We're here to have fun, eh?"

Emily nods, smiling, her voice scratchy. "Yeah."

So that's when they find themselves changing into swimsuits and running out to the beach, Emily wading knee deep into the ocean while Naomi sits on a towel reading a book. She looks up at her and laughs.

Emily's having the time of her life, she thinks. From New York, to this, she can't let her jeopardize her happiness.

She's come so far.

Naomi enjoys that last day feeling healthy, feeling good during this recent treatment of chemo.

But the nausea comes. It comes despite her dose of CBD oil earlier that day. And when they reach their hotel room, Naomi runs to the toilet and vomits. Emily freezes in the threshold before switching roles again, holding Naomi's hair back. "What can I do?"

"Fucking hold my hair," Naomi mumbles, heaving and vomiting again into the toilet.

"You're pale."

Emily's worried.

Naomi hears it straining her voice despite the loud sounds of her throwing up over and over.

Just when she thinks it's stopped, nausea rises in her stomach and she vomits again. Naomi takes a sharp breath and breathes shakily, holding the toilet bowl.

Finally, her stomach feels settled. She takes some toilet paper and dabs her mouth and gives her stomach a minute, breathing carefully with Emily massaging her back. Her head spinning and palms sweating, her vision blurs and she lies down on the floor, letting the dizziness pass.

Emily sighs and lies down beside her, looking up at the ceiling. "Why now? I thought..."

"I'm still encountering some side effects, not as often, but...it's fucking part of the process. It'll pass. It always does."

Emily swallows. "I'm here, Nae."

"I know, love."

"Can you take some water right now?"

"I can try."

"Okay."

Emily fades in and out of Naomi's vision and back again with a glass of water. Naomi feels she needs to sleep again. Her eyes grow heavy and she feels weak. She takes the glass of water, sipping on it slowly as Emily helps her sit up. Naomi walks over to the bed without help and sets the water down on the bedside table, lowering herself onto the bed and lying down. "I need just some a little more sleep right now..." Naomi mumbles, her words all messed up as sleep quickly overtakes her.

It's night when she wakes up, and Emily sleeps soundly next to her. She looks over at the clock: _1:21 AM. _

She's been sleeping for ten hours.

Fuck, that hasn't happened in a while.

_Shouldn't have gone and jinxed myself_, she jokes in her head. Throughout this whole thing, Naomi's remained calm and accepted it. There's nothing else she can do. This is what she knows to do after finally accepting that she's gay, or at least bisexual. She's even had a sense of humor about her cancer, often referring to it during a comedy bit.

Still asleep, Emily rolls over and throws her arm around Naomi. Naomi looks at the girl and softly rubs Emily's arm.

_Gone on a walk, I feel fine, just on the beach. We'll have an epic time later today. Love Naomi, _she scribbles on a piece of paper and leaves it on her side of the bed. Then she adds, _Look outside the window. I'm there. I always will be. Love you._

Naomi walks on the pier, a little sad as she stares out into the water, peering up at the moon above her and almost feeling its energy as she inhales deeply.

She feels good, much better than when she was puking into the toilet; she took her second dose of CBD oil when she woke up from her ten hour "nap". She trusts in it. And, she has come to believe, trusting in it is part of the magic. In the beginning when she had multiple panic attacks daily that would make her feel like she was losing touch with reality, with herself, with her body, she sought out therapy despite her reluctance and found that she was able to gain some of the control back through meditation. It's not for everyone, but it works for her, granting her a little bit of peace. It helps her sleep at night.

She's learned to appreciate each little moment of time.

Existing within a moment.

Naomi understands why taking a picture is so important to Emily.

Capsuling a moment.

She gets it.

Naomi grabs her phone from her pocket and takes a picture of the view right now. It's so beautiful, the moon huge and full above her head, the gently lapping water below her. Her camera's nothing like Emily's, but it's important for her to capture this. After snapping the picture she shoves the phone back into her pocket and walks back down the pier and sits on the shore, the waves lapping at her feet, wet sand nudging gently between her toes. She makes it a point to feel each grain of sand beneath her feet, the coolness of the earth below her.

She breathes in the cool night air.

When she makes her way back to the hotel, it's around four in the morning. Emily wakes up when Naomi shuts the door and looks over at her then to the note sitting beside her. She picks it up and reads it, biting her lip to hold back tears, Naomi thinks.

"How was the beach?"

"Lovely," Naomi answers.

Emily pulls her lithe body out of bed and sets her suitcase onto the bed, going through her clothes. "We should get an early start on the day. Go downtown. See what's open. Does that sound like a good idea?"

"Sounds good to me."

Emily pulls on a pair of rainbow colored leggings, a black skirt, and a blue top. She lets her dark hair fall onto her shoulders as she shrugs into her clothes. "You look nice," Naomi says.

Emily smiles. "So do you."

"Eh, I didn't feel like dressing up. Just jeans and a grey shirt. I'm feeling very grey."

"Looks good on you," Emily says simply, ignoring the humor in Naomi's voice.

"Ems, kiss me."

Emily obliges and presses her body against Naomi's, and Naomi backs up until her lower back hits the bed and Emily is standing in front of her kissing her neck. "I think we should put this bed to good use before going out," Naomi sighs.

Emily moans a little and nods. Their lips meld together, Emily flicking her tongue along Naomi's upper lip, eliciting a breathy moan from her. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I want to..." Naomi pauses and puts her hands on Emily's shoulders, stopping her for a minute. She opens her mouth and closes it. And then she doesn't know where it's come from, and sure she's thought about it, thought about it quite a lot, but as the beach flashes before her mind and she holds her girl in her arms, the words spill out. "I want to ask you something. Em. I... I want you to marry me." She looks down and bites her lip before looking back up. Yeah, she really just said that. "I don't have a ring, and I don't need one but I'll get one, I swear it. Because you mean that much to me. I want you to marry me. Will you? Will you marry me, Emily?"

Emily sucks in her top lip and looks like she's about to cry. "Yes. Of course I will." She laughs tearfully and wraps her arms around Naomi's neck, embracing her. "I can't say yes enough. Yes."

They back onto the bed chuckling and remove each other's clothes and make love. Later they fall asleep half dressed, legs tangled together.

And everything feels all right again.

Everything feels wonderful.

Everything feels simply perfect.

But nothing stays perfect for long.

Everything is a cycle.

Yin and yang.

Nothing stays perfect for long.

They hold onto this moment for everything it's worth, clinging to each other.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title**: Fast Car**  
Pairing**: Naomi/Emily  
**Rating**: M  
**Notes**: I'm American, not from the UK but I've been looking some stuff up. I know you guys have got these fast food places but I don't know how many you have. Anyway I hope you enjoy this. Thank you to the reviewers. :) Motorway station services=rest area apparently?

* * *

**Chapter III**

"So...Naomi Fitch or Emily Campbell?" Emily asks, scrolling through her phone looking at Brighton hot spots as Naomi eases the car onto the exit towards downtown.

"Would be nice not to be named after a supermodel," Naomi rolls her eyes and half smiles. "...But I kind of like the way my name sounds with yours," she admits.

"Emily Campbell," Emily tries out the way the name sounds curving around her lips, rolling off her tongue. They have the windows open and the world blurs past them: the breeze tickles their skin with a soft warmth, not too hot. Emily leans her head back against the seat and watches out the window as Naomi covers Emily's hand with her own. Emily looks over and squeezes her hand a little bit.

"Small or big wedding?"

"Small," Emily says after chewing on her lip in thought.

"Agreed."

"Oh, pull in here, I want an egg and cheese biscuit."

"You're going to turn into cheese," Naomi tells her, quickly pulling into the drive-thru of the fast food joint. "This food's disgusting. We really ought to eat a proper meal."

"We will. After my biscuit."

Naomi leans over and tickles her.

* * *

Hand in hand they walk through The Lanes, old-timey-looking buildings lined down a narrow street filled with cafes, bookstores, and a lot of art galleries. It's pretty much heaven, Emily thinks. They see other gay couples and relax into the environment of knowing they're accepted.

They pass a few clothing stores as they turn their heads left and right slowly taking in the place, Emily with her camera out and taking pictures of everything.

Naomi wants to go to the aquarium after: its neon-coloured lights in the picture on Emily's phone piqued her attention instantly. Brighton in its entirety is a great place for Emily to get some good pictures. Naomi wants to ride up in a helicopter on a tour of Brighton, go sailing down the coast.

But before they do any of this, they need to eat. And one of the small cafes seems like the perfect place to find a good breakfast.

"Oh _look_ another cafe," Naomi pretend mocks. "Tonight I'm taking you out to dinner at a restaurant."

Emily swings their hands between them. "Sounds awesome!"

"It's fucking packed," Naomi complains as they walk in to discover the line flowing practically to the door, loud chatter engulfing the room.

"Christ," Emily swears, backing out with her hand in Naomi's. She feels the negative energy sticking to her skin like sweat from the annoyance of many people. "Let's try another one."

They gently nudge their way past people, trying to avoid bumping into anyone as the line begins to build behind them.

"There's some kind of event going on here," Naomi mumbles. "Like a band playing."

Emily shakes her head. "Too crowded."

Another art gallery fades into view and then..._Choccywoccydoodah_? Emily says the word out loud and Naomi's already shaking her head. "Come on," Naomi tugs on Emily's arm and pulls her into the chocolate shop. Emily beams. A black painted store, its red walls practically pouring out of the shop, welcome them inside.

In awe Emily looks around at the walls lined with cakes, lolly-pops, truffles, and chocolate bars. A chocolate coloured chair sits in front of several columns of chocolate flowers. Emily snaps a picture.

They visit a museum and a few local tourist attractions: the Brighton Dome, a free arts venue featuring music attractions; a place they laugh at called Devil's Dyke where Emily nearly gets sick from an overload of chocolate on the bus around winding valleys of beautiful green land; a medieval castle where Emily does get sick and throws up in the grass, after which she feels better and her blood sugar soon enough returns to normal; the Anne of Cleves House, Queen Anne who acquired the house but never actually set foot on the property.

The aquarium is lovely. The flickering array of colors on the wall creates a beautiful, relaxing atmosphere as they come across different types of fish, crabs, and turtles swimming underneath gently flowing water. Emily turns back and smiles at Naomi at one of the turtles that turns to look at them and Emily asks one of the tourists to capture a picture of them. With a lot of editing, it's a wonderful picture of the two of them, Naomi with her back slightly turned towards Emily as she looks over at her as Emily slumps into the crook of Naomi's neck and they smile next to the turtle. It's a silly but artistic picture. As Emily examines it later, she sees the love in Naomi's eyes as she looks down at her. She runs her finger across the picture as if touching Naomi's shoulder and smiles, remembering. The shark exhibit is incredible. They watch them dive through the water above their heads as they stand underneath a dome shaped glass wall. Cosmic, atmospheric music seems to take them underwater.

Afterwards, they spend time in the car kissing and caressing each other before Naomi pulls away. "What's next?"

Emily smiles devilishly and leans in to kiss Naomi on the neck. "Anything."

"Em, careful. I don't want to look like a prostitute."

There's a small red mark on Naomi's neck now. Emily runs her finger over it and says, "Why would people see us together and think you're a prostitute?"

"Dunno," she responds. And smirks. "Just don't."

Emily chuckles and shoves the girl gently, teasing her. "Look at what you did before you act like a tit." And Emily points towards her breast and Naomi's shoulders shake as she laughs. "Cover yourself up, Emily." A group of men pass by the car, going towards the aquarium. "We're gonna get kicked out of here. We better go."

"Let's go," Emily tells her, sitting in the passenger's seat and adjusting her shirt.

Naomi drives and Emily buckles up and smirks to herself. Happiness pulses within her, and her stomach flutters like it always does with Naomi.

"Portsmouth, here we come," Naomi says.

"Oh. There's a water park there, let's go there first."

"_First_, I'm taking you to eat. We'll have to save the park for tomorrow."

"Fine." Emily takes out her phone, shows Naomi a picture. "There's a band playing tonight at the Music Hall. It says it's a historic theatre from 1878."

"Hm. Impressive. Em? Type in 'restaurants in Portsmouth near the Music Hall' and I'll take you there."

"How much money do we have left anyway?" Emily says before telling Siri to pull up restaurants for her.

"I have a little over 200 pounds."

"I have 180 pounds."

They blew a lot of their money in Brighton, focusing on the adrenaline and not so much their expenses. If they're careful, they won't have to sleep in motorway stations or off the side of the road.

The question dawns on Emily then.

How long will they be going for?

A lot more, she tells the voice.

There's so much to see.

Emily has to go to the bathroom really bad by the time they're on the outskirts of Portsmouth so Naomi pulls off onto an exit and they end up finding a little "motel" near a McDonald's and a KFC and decide to stay there. "Meet me in our room," Naomi tells her and grins, taking the key card.

"I'll come find you," Emily grins, going into the bathroom. Although it's only two flights up, she needs to go _right now_.

Oh, the fun of road trips.

She's considered some seriously questionable spots to pee.

"I need to pee now," Emily told Naomi.

"Why don't we just have a bowl in here, Christ's sake?" Naomi says and they laugh which makes Emily's bladder hurt.

Emily goes up to the third floor after she washes her hands, opening the door with her shirt. When she walks down the hall, she sees that Naomi has lain down on the bed.

"Do you feel okay?" Emily asks her instantly, letting the door click behind her and locking the latch.

"A little weak right now, but I will," Naomi says.

Emily lies down on the bed next to her silently.

Naomi is breathing carefully.

"Sleep?" Emily asks.

Naomi brushes Emily's hair out of her face. "I just need a minute," she murmurs.

Naomi falls asleep five minutes later.

Emily sleeps with her for an hour before getting up.

Naomi is still asleep, breathing evenly.

Emily opens the curtains and looks out to see their view. It's nothing like Brighton; she's staring at the back of a building with just the smallest bit of the deep purple sunset peaking through the cracks. She has to pull out her phone to see that it's clouded over and it may rain in the next hour.

Emily pulls out a book and reads, Naomi's favorite: Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë.

She opens up to a random page and comes upon a quote.

"I do not think, sir, you have any right to command me, merely because you are older than I, or because you have seen more of the world than I have; your claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time and experience."

She flips to another page but spaces out, not processing any of the words.

She just thinks over this quote silently and stares off into space for maybe a half hour when she hears the covers shuffling and Naomi's figure moving in the corner of her eye. She hears a yawn and looks over and sees Naomi, smiles at her. Naomi is silent for a moment as if collecting herself, her whereabouts, and then: "Come over here."

Emily obliges, pulls her body off the chair, and walks over to the bed, straddling Naomi's lap. "Hi."

Naomi runs her hand up Emily's back, underneath her shirt, feeling the smooth skin there. "Hello." She leans in and presses their lips together.

"I was reading your book," Emily murmurs.

"Hm?"

"Jane Eyre. I was trying to read some, it's good. I see what you see in it."

"You have to read the whole thing to see," Naomi tells her pointedly.

Emily looks up, nods with a small, slightly sad smile before kissing Naomi gently. Naomi runs her fingers through Emily's dark brown hair, looking at the fading red. She lets her eyes slip closed and lets the world fade away as she dissolves into Emily's kiss. Her lips are soft and warm; Naomi trails her kisses down Emily's neck before landing at her collarbone and gently running her tongue along the area before placing a kiss there. She kisses that spot that joins between Emily's neck and her shoulder and lets her teeth graze upon the skin as she kisses her. Emily moans. "Nae," she gets out. "I love you," Naomi says. "I love you too," Emily breathes. Naomi signals for Emily to raise her arms so that Naomi can pull the shirt up and over her head, letting it fall onto the floor. She sets her hands on Emily's breasts through the cotton and palms her breasts gently, reaching one hand behind her to unclasp her bra, which exposes Emily's nude flesh. Naomi takes a nipple into her mouth and Emily gasps, her hand reaching down to push Naomi's head further against her. Emily tugs until she's got Naomi's shirt and bra off and they press their chests together, their lips finding each other again, clashing together. Their hands are everywhere, massaging smooth skin and pulling at the remaining pieces of clothing. They are completely naked and their clothes are forgotten on the floor and Emily grinds her hips against Naomi and they both moan, trying to stifle the noise with the joining of their mouths.

Emily runs her tongue along Naomi's top lip and Emily continues to grind her hips, the two beginning to form a rhythm together which is something like rough and near desperate. Emily moves her hand down beneath her and rubs her hand between Naomi's thighs. She inserts one finger and looks to see Naomi's face. Naomi throws her head back and breathes shakily, reaching for Emily's most sensitive spot and rubbing her thumb against her. Emily rolls and thrashes her hips against her hand, groaning. Despite being in a hotel in a room near other people's rooms this is different than being at home in Effy's apartment where Effy can hear them from the living room. They don't know any of those people in those other rooms, will never see them again. They simply seem to fade from existence.

Naomi's back hits the mattress and Emily falls on top of her, hovering over Naomi and continuing her ministrations and grinding. They reach a peak and Naomi covers Emily's mouth with her hand when Emily moans loudly, her orgasm hitting her blindsided. Naomi follows close behind and finishes with Emily, their bodies going rigid as waves of pleasure wash through them. As their moans die out, Emily lets her body gently drop onto Naomi's, lying her head down near Naomi's breast and listening to her heart pound. She raises her head and kisses her, shifting some of her weight off of her.

And they sleep. They sleep for maybe a half hour before Emily jerks and wakes Naomi up with her.

She remembers her dream like it had happened in real life. The voice sounded so real, so vivid. "_We've been everywhere, Emily. We've seen the whole world together._"

"_Not all of it_," Emily had said. "_Not yet_."

Emily wakes up sobbing, and Naomi's eyes shoot open and she holds her close to her and shushes her. "It's only a dream, love. Shhh, shh."

Emily's shoulders shake and hot tears spill onto Naomi's chest. Emily tries to steady her breathing but falters, her pulse thumping away in her wrist. Panic seizes her and she sits up, more like jerks up, and grasps Naomi's hand like a lifeline. "Emily, breathe. Look at me." Emily looks into her eyes and Naomi speaks calmly, firmly. "Control your breathing. Slow it down."

Emily does as she says, gasping and taking a slow, shaky breath. "Keep going. Four seconds in, hold seven, eight seconds out. You're hyperventilating. You're okay. You're in this room with me. You're lying on the bed. You just woke up from a dream."

After a few minutes of slow, controlled breathing, Emily is breathing steadily, wiping her tears. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize," Naomi says. "I used to get panic attacks."

"I've never been that scared, like that."

Naomi thinks to ask her what her dream was about, but decides against it, not sure she wants to hear it.

Besides, it was just a dream. Whatever was so horrible that sent Emily into a panic attack, Naomi doesn't need to know.

Because maybe a part of her already knows.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title**: Fast Car  
**Pairing**: Naomi/Emily  
**Rating**: M  
**Notes**: Thanks again. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter IV**

"Naomi, where the _fuck_ are you?" Emily hears over the phone as Naomi presses the phone to her ear.

"Effy. Hi. We are currently in Portsmouth. How are you?"

She hears a low, possibly annoyed or angry voice raving and Naomi looks over at Emily and smiles.

"Sorry. We kind of just...went away. We're fine," she pauses as the voice on the phone cuts her off, "No, I'm fine. Don't sound so worried. We're having a blast." Naomi reaches over and holds Emily's hand. Emily is wearing a sleeveless black dress that hugs her body with a small black cardigan. Naomi wears her low cut black floral dress as a last minute sort of nice, I just threw this in here in case, outfit. Whatever. Emily's eyeing her and smiling a lot and she thinks it's probably good enough.

Emily can't stop her eyes from wandering over to stare at her girlfriend. Naomi keeps giving her a face like why are you staring at me but Emily can't help herself. She looks incredible and the last time Emily saw Naomi in a dress was probably high school prom.

"Look, can we talk later? I'm kind of taking Emily on a date. Yeah." Another long pause. Naomi places her hand over Emily's knee and rubs it softly. Emily is staring at her and smiling somewhat shyly.

"I... know, okay? Bye." Naomi clicks her phone call off and puts the phone down at her side. "So." Naomi looks over at Emily, trying to let the conversation with Effy slip from her mind. "I'm thinking of dying my hair platinum blonde again. What do ya think?"

Emily turns her head slightly, leans her hand over and brushes her fingers through Naomi's brown hair. "Actually, I like it like this."

"Yeah?"

Emily shrugs. "Either way. I can't choose. I love both."

Naomi hesitates a little before continuing. "Now that I've got quite a bit of hair back, I'd like to colour it again, I think," she murmurs quietly.

"I think that's a good idea," Emily agrees.

"Effy says hi," Naomi throws in, just for the hell of it.

"What else did she say?"

Naomi opens the door and begins to get out. "To go on our date. Let's go, Emily."

Emily opens the door although Naomi walks around with the intention of opening it for her. "Is she mad?"

"Hmm, a little."

"She sounded mad."

"Emily, look." Emily looks at Naomi and Naomi turns her so that she's facing towards the restaurant, a brightly lit purple place sitting over the river. Emily's breath hitches a little. "Yeah. Tried to get your attention," Naomi mumbles.

"This is amazing, Naomi, holy shit!"

"It's not the worst place, is it?" Naomi says.

"The best."

"How about we eat here before deciding, yeah? Ready?"

Emily nods quickly with her lips pursed into a smile. "I'm starving."

"Good. We're lucky I could get a reservation so late at night."

"You got us a reservation?"

Naomi hesitates, slightly awkward, smiling at Emily. "Yeah. I did."

"You are the best girlfriend," Emily says. "The best, ever."

"Just come on." Naomi drags Emily inside and Emily quickly catches up and they wait in line to be seated, the door snapping closed behind them. Emily looks over with an excited grin on her face. She looks around, taking in the surroundings. The light from the moon shines inside the windows, the clear night sky pooling into the large restaurant. Inside it is dimly lit, the lights hanging from the ceiling perhaps on one of the dimmest settings. Some tables are candlelit, others are kept unlit. Emily has the feeling there is a lot of money behind this reservation, but she can't think about that right now.

Even as she takes in the atmosphere of the restaurant, her eyes still return to Naomi, as her beauty stands out from all the rest. Naomi would call her a cliché, but she doesn't care.

"Name?" the man behind the podium speaks.

"Campbell, Naomi," she says.

Emily looks at Naomi from the man to Naomi with slightly wide eyes, sucking in her cheeks to hold back a smile or a gasp or something. Fancy, sophisticated, Emily doesn't know what word to use to call this place, but as they are seated, they hear a couple of laid back couples talking and laughing freely and she relaxes. Some of them mumble quietly, others are loud and free. They are seated right below a view of the moon and the reflection of the river glinting through the window.

"Someone will be right with you," he says, lighting the candle in the centerpiece, and walks off. Emily sits across from Naomi and leans over to kiss her.

"This is wonderful."

"Glad you like it."

"No, I love it," Emily corrects her. She bites her lip and sits back, still looking around the place. Her eyes find Naomi's and they gaze at each other softly, unable to stop smiling.

"What?" Naomi laughs, embarrassed.

"You're beautiful. You look incredible," Emily says.

"Thanks, Emily... You look beautiful too, as always."

Emily lowers her head and gushes a bit. Then she lifts her head. "Excuse me?" Emily calls when she sees the man pass by again, seating someone else. He turns to look at her. "Is it okay if we take pictures in here?"

"Yes, as long as there is no flash," he responds and walks away.

Naomi smirks as Emily picks up her camera and Naomi thinks she's going to take it of the restaurant, but she's pointing it at her. "Em."

"Come on, Nae. You look amazing. Smile."

Naomi does. Emily snaps the picture and then sets it on top of the windowsill and takes a timed photo of the two of them.

"I can't wait to go through these pictures with you."

"It'll be nice to see them," Naomi says.

Emily smiles. "How do you feel?" she checks.

She's tired, but she doesn't think that warrants Emily's concern at this moment. "I feel good," Naomi tells her.

Emily nods. "Good."

"You wanna look through some of those pictures now?"

Emily nods, grabs her camera and moves to sit on the seat next to Naomi. She starts the slideshow from the beginning. The first picture is of her and Naomi in Bristol, when she first purchased the camera. They lean into each other as they recall the memories. There is a picture of Times Square with its radiant, neon lights. As many as she's seen, it's incredibly well done and well edited: cars intentionally a blur as they fly past, with an emphasis on light and color and speed. "I wanted to really capture what NYC is like in this one," she says.

"Never been there myself, but I think you did." Naomi rubs Emily's back affectionately as Emily lays her head in the crook of Naomi's neck, flicking through the images.

"I've got to take you sometime," Emily murmurs. "This is just a cat I saw on the alleyway. He was getting kind of close to me. I went home and brought some food and he was still there. He scarfed it down like he hadn't eaten in days, but it's pretty obvious he was being fed." She chuckles. "A friend, a photographer. We had coffee once."

Naomi beams as Emily tells her all about her life in New York and flips through images for her to see. Naomi can see the glimmer in Emily's eye as she talks about it, and a part of her feels guilty, like maybe she took her away from all of that.

"There's a lot of just strangers that let me take their pictures," Emily chuckles as she flies through the next ten or so pictures, "some for practice; some I could use."

"This one's our fist webcam session since I got to New York. Remember? I thought we looked cute."

Naomi, remembering, nods. "Yeah, I remember. You cried when you saw me."

"I was so happy to see your face, but so sad to be away from you."

"Me too," Naomi kisses her gently. Emily returns the kiss before a waiter approaches and stands formally at their table.

"May I take your drink orders?"

They hadn't looked at their menus.

"Water is fine," Naomi says.

"I'll take water too," Emily says, but Naomi nudges her.

"Em, order anything you want. That's why I took you here."

She nods, bites her lip. "What do you have for alcohol? Pinot grigio?"

"Yes, a water and a pinot grigio," he takes the notes and leaves.

"Naoms, this looks really expensive," Emily murmurs.

"Don't worry about it. I have the credit card."

"I don't want you to use that. Takes fucking years for most people to pay off, you know that."

'"I said," she draws out the word, smoothing her hand down Emily's shoulder, "don't worry."

"Your water. And your pinot grigio, and a water for you as well, Miss," the waiter says, promptly coming to their table and placing Emily's wine in front of her, and a glass of water in front of both of the girls.

"Thank you."

Emily picks up the glass and sips on it as he goes to another table and takes their empties. Emily sits opposite Naomi and they look over their menus. She looks over various seafood and pasta selections buried beneath fancy words she doesn't know. They end up going with the garlic bread for an appetizer. Emily orders the pizza margherita with a side of fries and Naomi orders a salad with the penne and chicken. It's probably a 45 minute wait for their food, but it's worth it. They're silent as they dig into their meals and Emily covers her mouth with her hand as she chews a bite of pizza.

"This is so good," she says.

"Yeah? Worth it?"

"Definitely."

"It is pretty good," she says.

"Try some of my pizza." Emily tears off a piece of pizza and Naomi sticks it in her mouth and chews.

"Mm, that's good."

Emily nods, looks out on the boardwalk and sighs. "It's so lovely."

"Yeah," Naomi says, turning to look out the window. "Go for a walk when we're done?"

"I'd love to."

"Good. Eat up."

Emily takes a drink of her wine and looks into her glass, remembering. "Do you remember that night at Panda's party? MDMA brownies? Sexy-poo?"

The two girls burst out laughing. "How could I forget. Pandora's mum when she came in holding that plate of brownies. High out of her mind."

Emily laughs. "And the music. And tossing her hair around."

They laugh and have to take a break from their food to avoid choking. A small smile remains on Emily's face. "Panda was pretty upset."

"Yeah." Naomi's still smiling. Emily licks her lip, just the slight barely perceivable movement. Naomi's eyes go to her mouth and she says, "And you admitted you were gay, though I already knew it."

"Kissing in the bounce house. Feels like so long ago," Emily muses, looking at the front of Naomi's low cut top.

"Yeah..."

Emily raises her eyes, puts her arm on the table and takes Naomi's hand. "I don't want to go back to New York, Nae. You understand, don't you?" She sighs. "I want to stay with you."

"Yeah, think I've gotten that by now."

"Good, because I'm not going back."

"Do you really want to live with me and Effy anyhow?"

"For now. Then we'll find our own place together. As long as we're together."

Naomi looks down at their hands pressed together and goes silent in thought. Of course she wants Emily to choose to be with her in London, but for the right reasons. She doesn't want her health to dictate things for them. If Emily wants to go to school in New York, she should take that opportunity.

"You aren't so sure," Emily finally says.

"You know my reservations. Yeah. I want you with me. Just want you to be sure."

"I'm sure. I love you."

"I know you do. And I know you'd love me if you were in New York too."

Emily rubs her thumb along Naomi's wrist.

"Well, I'm sure. I want to go back to London with you at the end of this trip... and we'll figure things out together from then on. I don't want to be long distance. I don't want to be in New York anymore."

"Okay then."

"Okay." Emily is shoveling the last of the pizza into her mouth, having enjoyed every morsel, while Naomi is picking at her food; the fries have been smothered in ketchup and devoured mostly by Emily while Naomi's eaten half of her salad and is picking at the penne before letting her fork settle onto the plate with a small _clang_.

"We should get a to go box and save the food. It's not bad. Are you glad I took you here, Em?"

"Yeah. It's been perfect. The food was amazing. Are you feeling okay?"

"Just fine, love." Emily looks at her, a little worried. "Promise."

"Let's get a to go box and go for that walk then. I can't wait to walk across the boardwalk. It's so beautiful out there," Emily gushes as she looks at the window at the clear blue water, the shopping center pouring yellow light into the room. When the waitress comes around, they ask for a to go box and pile Naomi's food into a single box and close it. They ask for the check and Naomi pays for the bill, using up half of her money. Emily insists on paying at least the tip and they leave it on the table. They've barely headed out of the restaurant with the cool night brushing against their skin as they step out onto the boardwalk when Emily feels her phone vibrating in her pocket. It stops and she looks at it. A missed call from Effy and a text message.

_Emily, call me when you're done with your date. Thanks. _

She sighs. "Guess I should call Effy."

"Go ahead," Naomi wraps her arm around Emily's waist as they walk over to a bench and sit down.

"Hi Effy."

"Emily, how is everything? And what the hell were you guys thinking?"

She glances over at Naomi, who looks over at her. "What do you mean? Everything is fine."

"Emily, Naomi shouldn't be roaming around Portsmouth. She just had a treatment. She needs to be at home resting."

Emily looks down at her feet. "We are resting. Don't worry." She sighs. "I dropped out of college. I'm going to be staying in London with you and Nae."

"Oh. Right. Then let me ask you something. Is there a possibility that this trip is just about you?"

Appalled, Emily screws her face up in anger. "Um, what? No. It's about both of us dropping everything and having a good time. How dare you."

"Right after you dropped everything and don't know what you're going to do next, seems convenient," Effy says.

"Fuck you," Emily throws at her, rage pumping through her veins. Naomi's face sinks and she bites her lip.

"Emily, what if something bad happens?"

"Then we'll deal with it together."

"You guys need to come home."

"We will. When we're done."

Effy sighs quietly. "Do you even know where you're going?"

"No," Emily admits.

"You need to come back to Canary Wharf, okay?"

"Fuck that. No."

"Emily."

"I have to go." Emily hangs up the phone and brings it down to her lap, goes silent for a few moments as Naomi stares at her.

"Say something."

"Do you want to go to Bristol?"

Naomi's eyebrows knit together. "Bristol." She laughs. "Why?"

"See our families."

"Not really." She reaches out to hold her hand. "Emily..."

She ignores her. Tears form in Emily's eyes but she sets her jaw tight. "_Oxford_?"

"Em," Naomi whispers, rubbing Emily's shoulder. "As much as I love it. What are we doing?"

"What? We're on a road trip."

"Yeah," she says quietly. "Emily, maybe we should think about what Effy said."

Emily's mouth parts just slightly and she looks at Naomi with sad eyes. "You want to go home?"

"Not yet. We should just... start talking about it. I'm getting a little tired is all."

"Okay. We'll talk about it. We can plan better. Be more organized."

"I mean...consider going home," she finally says.

Emily sucks on her top lip and nods. "Can we just enjoy tonight?"

"Yes," Naomi whispers. Emily wraps the girl in a hug as tears fall down her face, crying silently.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow. And Em? Thank you. Thank you for taking me on this trip."

Emily nods against her shoulder.

They check out the shops and spend a little money on souvenirs.

But most of their time is spent sitting at the bench and when Naomi tells Emily that she feels like she may throw up, Emily stands outside the bathroom, thoughts racing through her mind.

Emily's back is against the door and she listens to Naomi vomit.

Maybe they need to go back.

Maybe Naomi is sicker than she's letting on.

Naomi curls up on the floor, puts her head in her hands, and cries.

A clump of her hair lies on the floor.

She grows faint and lowers herself to the floor.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **I have no experience with cancer and am just going based off of research. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you so much for the reviews, favorites, and follows!

* * *

"I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will."

― Charlotte Brontë, _Jane Eyre_

* * *

_**Fast Car**_

Emily helps walk Naomi's weak body to the car and drives back to the hotel. When they get there, Emily hands Naomi a glass of water and gives her a drop of her oil. Naomi lies down in bed, curling around Emily's body, and sleep comes instantly.

Meanwhile, Emily is wide awake. Struggling to pull herself from the relaxing warmth of Naomi's body, she leans up and kisses her forehead. She pulls her body from the bed and pads over to the small table and sits down. Her hands grasp the only book Naomi brought with her on the trip, _Jane Eyre_.

Emily continues reading, having started the book the day after the first night she picked it up. She can see a bit of Naomi in the book, and finds herself becoming thoroughly invested in the material, while also feeling closer to Naomi somehow.

The black sky pours its silent gloom through the window. Emily gets up to shut the curtains, taking a break from her book. Naomi is making groaning sounds and Emily turns to face her girlfriend. "Naoms?"

Emily rushes over to find Naomi awake and pale; when Emily reaches her side and goes to press her hand against Naomi's arm, Naomi vomits. Emily's looks down at her now soiled clothes and wraps her arm around her shoulder, after which Naomi throws up again on the floor.

Emily stands up and darts into the bathroom, pulling out a small trashcan and putting it on the side of the bed in which Naomi can continue vomiting. She curls her legs up as if in pain as she dry heaves into the trashcan, throwing up bile after having thrown up the remaining of her dinner.

"What can I do?" Emily asks desperately, rubbing between Naomi's shoulder blades.

Naomi pants and then dry heaves again, unable to answer Emily's question.

Emily grabs her phone from her pocket and punches in Effy's number, frantically pressing the phone to her ear. Effy answers on the first ring.

"Tell me you're coming home and that's why you're calling me at this hour," is the first thing out of Effy's mouth.

"I don't know if she can travel like this. She can't stop throwing up."

Effy curses under her breath. "Take her to the hospital, Emily."

Emily is breathing hard and her heart pounds against her chest. "Naomi, we need to get to the hospital."

Naomi raises her hand and shakes her head furiously as she throws up into the trashcan.

Effy knows without Emily having to tell her. "You need to press her on it. She needs to go. Put me on speakerphone."

Emily does.

"Naom, you _need_ help. If you can't stop puking, they can give you something. I don't know. Some drugs. Please listen to me."

"_No_," Naomi chokes out with her head in the trashcan.

Emily gathers Naomi's hair with one hand and holds the phone with the other. "I'm sorry," she says, to Naomi and Effy, both. "I'm sorry if I was selfish. This is my fault. I wanted some time away from everything with you, but I can't escape this," Emily's voice breaks as tears well up in her eyes, "I know we can't. I'm sorry. I'm here. I won't run anymore. I'm here."

After one last dry heave, Emily cleans Naomi's mouth with a tissue and Naomi lies back on the bed, curled up in the fetal position, her face as pale as a ghost.

"Emily, get her to a hospital," Effy repeats.

"I can't! Fuck."

"Then call a fucking ambulance."

"I don't need the hospital, Effy," Naomi says weakly. "I'm fine."

"Like hell," Effy retorts.

"I just need to sleep, and then I'll be fine." Naomi's voice grows groggy. "This...has happened."

"Effy, I'll call you back when I figure out what to do," Emily says, and she can practically hear Effy's eye roll. "Bye." She clicks the phone call off.

Emily pulls off her vomited-on shirt and stuffs it into a bag where they put their dirty clothes. She climbs into bed with Naomi with Naomi's back against her and wraps her arm around her.

"Em."

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask for something?"

Emily nods against her back. "Anything."

"I could really use a joint." Naomi laughs.

"Are you fucking kidding me? That's going to make you sicker."

"No...it won't. It'll make me feel better. Please. No spliff. Just a joint." She closes her eyes, hopeful.

Emily looks back and forth between Naomi and the sack of weed sitting against the table and relents, sitting up in bed and rolling a joint.

"It's just the chemo," Naomi says. "And Em. It's not your fault."

A tear slides down Emily's face as she presses the joint to Naomi's lips and Emily lights it for her. Naomi takes a long inhale and exhales, coughing violently.

"Naomi..." Emily says worriedly.

"I'm okay," Naomi says when the coughing dies down. "Emily. It's not your fault, and you're anything but selfish. I've had such a good time with you. And you gave that to me. Thank you."

Tears continue to roll down Emily's face and she presses her lips against Naomi's, kissing her gently. Naomi offers the joint to Emily and Emily takes it, taking a long drag before blowing out a cloud of smoke. She hands it back to Naomi. "Does that make you feel good?"

"Yes. It relaxes me, helps the nausea," Naomi answers, closing her eyes.

Emily runs her fingers through Naomi's hair, a sense of dread shooting through her when the hair falls out in her hand. She leans down and presses a kiss to Naomi's forehead. "I love you so much. If you need to go to hospital - tell me - _please_," she cries.

"No, Em," Naomi murmurs quietly. "It's a side effect, okay? I just need rest is all. I promise."

"We're leaving in the morning," Emily asserts.

"Let's stay. I know what I said, but I want to stay. I want to keep moving."

"Absolutely not," Emily says, dumbfounded. "We're going home as soon as possible. Don't argue with me."

Naomi grasps Emily's hand. Remembers when Emily had finally told her about her dream, in tears. "We're not through yet," Naomi whispers.

"No, we're not," Emily says, tears in her eyes. "We're just... taking a break. Then we can travel more, see more things, anything you like."

Naomi blinks slowly. "_I'm_ not through yet."

"I know." Emily cries as she kisses Naomi's face. "You're gonna beat this. I know it."

"Fuck cancer," Naomi murmurs so quietly before she drifts off to sleep.

"Fuck cancer," Emily repeats to herself.

...

Naomi's got a blanket draped around her as she rests her head back against the headrest of the car, the seat dropped back a bit to allow her to lie down. She's feeling a little better since getting some sleep but the nausea still bothers her.

Emily's driving on the Havant Bypass towards Canary Wharf, London while Naomi puffs on a joint. It makes Emily slightly nervous, but Naomi assures her it makes her feel better, and who would Emily be to deprive her of that?

The sky is a dark blue, maybe an hour before the sun comes up. Naomi gazes out the window as the trees roll by with Passion Pit playing over the radio. They have an hour and a half remaining of their drive.

Emily has put her camera back in the case, put it away into her purse.

"Emily, why don't we go for a little detour?" Naomi turns towards her, her face pale. Emily glances over with a worried expression on her face.

"Yeah. When we make it to Leatherhead. I've always wanted to see the Surrey Hills Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty," Naomi says sarcastically, doing quotes with her fingers.

"No, Naomi... We can't."

"We can too_."_

Emily's eyes fill with tears. She curses silently, wipes them away furiously. "No_." _She presses her hand hard against Naomi's hand. "No_, _we can't_. _I'm - I'm sorry," she realizes the anger she's let slip her lips, "can I get us some food?"

Naomi's face softens and she rubs her hand gently along Emily's. "Cheese biscuit, yeah?"

Emily laughs and cries at the same time. "Yes. What will you have?"

"The same." Naomi is gazing at her lovingly, wanting to comfort her, take her into her arms, reassure her... everything's okay. "You're going to turn into cheese," Naomi just whispers with a smile on her face.

Emily squeezes her hand and smiles. "I know. I love you."

"I love you, too."


End file.
